Woman Questions 3-Date Hookup Over Erection Issues and Unreturned Pleasure

1 articles · Updated · Slate · Jun 24

Three hookups in, a woman says her partner repeatedly loses erections during attempted penetration, then expects oral sex while never getting her off.
Slate’s advice says the central issue is less the erection problem than the lack of reciprocation, and recommends a direct conversation only if she thinks the potential upside justifies the effort.
That discussion could reveal either sexual anxiety and poor sexual education—or simple selfishness about her pleasure; if it turns unpleasant, she owes him only basic decency and can end things.
The column frames the choice as personal bandwidth: she can try to build erotic trust and clearer communication, or simply decide the arrangement is not working after three encounters.