Slate’s Stoya and Rich Tackle 3 Reader Sex Dilemmas in Latest Advice Column

2 articles · Updated · Slate · Jul 1

Slate’s latest “How to Do It” column answers three reader questions, led by advice for an older gay man seeking casual sex after prostate-cancer treatment left him unable to get hard.
Rich advises him to frame encounters around what he does want—bottoming, oral sex or getting a partner off—and disclose only shortly before sex that a procedure means his penis will stay soft.
A 38-year-old married mother of 2 who has avoided sex for about a year is told stress, depression, weight gain and sensory overload may be crushing desire, and that she needs to decide whether to rebuild intimacy or redefine the relationship.
The column also addresses a husband who refuses to kiss his wife after oral sex until she brushes her teeth, with Rich calling the aversion irrational but ultimately a preference she can either accommodate or challenge.
The piece extends Slate’s same-day run of reader-driven sex advice, following an earlier installment on how summer houseguests were disrupting a couple’s sex life.