Author Rejects Having Children After Bullying Began at Age 5
Updated
Updated · The Guardian · May 24
Author Rejects Having Children After Bullying Began at Age 5
3 articles · Updated · The Guardian · May 24
The author says childhood bullying shaped her decision not to have children, leaving her unable to imagine a happy childhood for a future child and fearful she could not protect them.
Age 5 marked the start of the abuse after a move to Buckinghamshire: she was punched on a school bus, humiliated by classmates and repeatedly excluded, while adults at school dismissed or minimized the bullying.
Those experiences fed eating disorders from age 12, perfectionism and lasting trauma responses that still surface in ordinary encounters such as hearing laughter or being called across a street.
Writing became her main way to cope, first as a child trying to release fear and later as a novelist; she says exploring motherhood in fiction has been healing.
Her account frames childlessness as both a painful loss and a liberating choice, tied not only to personal trauma but to a wider belief that bullying remains embedded in modern culture.
How does childhood bullying reshape major life choices, like the decision to never have children?
Can a brain scarred by childhood bullying truly heal, or does the trauma leave a permanent mark?
The Hidden Toll: How Childhood Bullying Shapes Adult Life Choices and Parenthood Decisions—A 2026 Evidence Review
Overview
This report explores how childhood bullying, though rarely cited as the sole reason for rejecting parenthood, has a deep and often unspoken influence on major life choices. Bullying is a common experience with immediate and long-term psychological consequences, such as depression, anxiety, and persistent feelings of inadequacy. These enduring impacts can subtly shape how individuals view themselves, their relationships, and their future, including decisions about starting a family. While public cases are scarce, a substantial body of evidence and personal stories highlight the powerful, lingering effects of peer victimization on adult life trajectories.