Author Rethinks Parenting After 3-Year-Old Adopts Family Habits on China Trip

2 articles · Updated · Business Insider · Jun 29

A visit to Qingdao for Lunar New Year prompted the author to reassess her parenting after her 3-year-old returned to the US asking to be spoon-fed.
Weeks with grandparents and relatives upended routines she and her husband had built in Los Angeles around self-feeding, quiet play, limits on sweets and handling tantrums.
Her family stepped in constantly—packing kindergarten supplies, adding layers and coaxing extra bites—but that help also left her feeling her role as mother had receded.
Back home, she found herself feeding her daughter despite resisting that practice in China, recognizing how quickly the caregiving style she grew up with in 1990s Shandong resurfaced.
She still wants parents to set the rules, but now sees her family's traditional approach less as something to reject than as a loving model she may partly carry forward.